Every once in a while, a person will come into your life and succeed in changing your entire outlook, or cause you to rediscover passions long buried. That was the effect that Howard had on me. Howard was a mercurial spirit who never ceased to amaze me with the depth and breadth of his knowledge. His passion for life was remarkable, especially when you consider the pain that he was constantly experiencing. Howard was one of the first people to make contact with me on soc.motss. He was, I assumed, one of those nameless people who "send me all kinds of supporting email" that you always hear about. Of course, this was completely wrong, as Howard was a regular poster for quite some time. He shunned controversy, and this was his ostensible reason for not posting (much) to soc.motss. Really, I think, his mind was elsewhere: his love of food and wine were the preeminent concern in his life. Soc.motss was mearly a fertile recruiting ground for similarly minded food queens. Arne and I came along within a month or so of each other about 4 years ago. Howard remained a rather enigmatic person to both of us. Arne told me that Howard made and broke several dinner engagements before finally making it to one. I didn't know this at the time, but when Howard finally arranged a dinner at a Japanese restaurant in Hollywood, it became clear why he phased in and out of net life. (this was also to be Arne's debut singing Ethel Merman at a Karaoke bar, which mercifully was monopolized by a wedding reception). I met Howard's Kevin, who I thought was very charming. Things remained somewhat distant for quite some time. This was mostly of my doing, as I was in the midst of a major change of life, and getting up to LA was not generally high on my list. We did manage to get to know each other better in those years, and had dinner on a number of occasions. I was always impressed by the depth of his knowledge -- I had never met such a walking encyclopedia complete with lusty sound effects! Howard loved San Francisco, having lived here quite a while. Mostly he loved North Beach, having met Kevin at Rossi's Market, and having many good memories associated with it (not to mention strapping Italian boys, which he loved so much). After I moved, Howard came to house sit for friend. Howard, well, Hurricane Howard, was there for nearly a month. We ate and ate and ate and ATE. La Folie was probably the most memorable; Roland Passot's magic is just too fabulous for words, and Howard couldn't get enough of his marvelous foie gras in a huckleberry reduction. Or was it the squab stuffed with quail that he liked so much? I still remember Howard coming over to my house for the first time. Howard had bought a Muni FastPass and was determined to milk every penny out the thing. I explained to him that my house is on the side of a cliff, and told him the least exhaustive way to get here. When Howard arrived, he was practically a ghost. "Did you go the way I told you, Howard?", I asked. "No! That was two blocks out of the way!", Howard replied in his normal stubborn demeanor. Typical Howard. I threw a party in Howard's honor, which was the first of many parties that my poor recycling bin has witnessed in the last year. Howard and I shopped all over the place, and we put on a feast worthy of Luisa Tetrazzini, whose great nephew I had met in New York earlier that year. We shopped for wine all over the bay area, and I still remember him transfixed by the selection of old Sauternes at the Wine House here in the city. Howard, in his humility relegated himself to my unassuming sous chef (yeah, right) as he watched the horror and indignity of Ireland beating Italy in World Cup Soccer. My long lost love of food and wine was coming back to me in full force, and having Howard around was high octane fuel for that smoldering fire. Howard and I spent hours on the net and on the phone talking about everything, but mostly about this dish, or that wine, all the while giving me an education on various wines. At the Las Vegas motss.con, there was the perfect moment when Howard and I traipsed over to the Mirage to take a look at the white tigers. While looking on with the million and seven other tourists, we simultaneously wondered aloud what wine one would serve with tiger. I enjoyed Howard's unsnobbish and eclectic love of wine. I think some of Howard's best moments were his delight in finding some bargain basement wine at Trader Joe's that he could drink with impunity. His own mortality was always there in front of him ("this wine will outlast me!"), but he still couldn't resist buying for the future. This was, to me, the essence of Howard's tenacity in life. Enjoy the present, that's all we're guaranteed with; don't give up the future, since we may yet live to reap its benefits. I had always wanted to make a trip to Europe. Since I was officially bumming around, I figured that this was the proper time to do it. I had never really been all that excited about Paris, but Howard raved about Paris, and Richard Johnson (practically an ex-patriot) was going to be there at the same time. I was amazed at the beauty of Paris, and even more amazed at food and wine culture. I kept thinking how much Howard would have loved to be back in Paris for Richard and my dozen or so Lite Lunchs (tm). Quite accidentally, I arrived from the Metro at St. Sulpice and found an ACT-UP demonstration marching from Montparnasse to Odeon as part of the World AIDS Conference. I decided to join the procession, but unlike most of the rancor around me, I could barely even speak, let alone take part in the chants, hoots and jeers. I just knew that my trip there was likely to be Howard's last connection with the city that he loved so much. It was all I could do to contain my grief and start bawling in the street. At one of the clubs were bulletin board-like sheets of paper where people wrote what they liked, usually about loved ones departed. Practically shaking, and about ready to burst into tears again, I wrote an inscription to Howard vowing to be his eyes and pallet. The Eiffel Tower that week, in the City of Light, had a red ribbon done in lights. Paris grieved with me. Upon my return, Howard enthusiastically decided that we must go to Barcelona. It was his favorite city in all of Europe, and besides he thought that he could just fit through the openings in La Sacreda Familia to have a romantic end. I had a lot of foreboding about this trip, but Howard was very upbeat. I finally relented, in part because I was intent on taking my Aric to Europe too. Howard became seriously ill in January, which was to be his final battle. We hoped against all odds that Howard would be able to make it, but the reality of the situation finally became evident weeks before the trip. Howard insisted that Ken and Arne make the trip, even though we were extremely worried about him. We tasted the oily squid that Howard pined so much for again. Arne and I timidly viewed out the portals of La Sacreda Familia where Howard imagined his end. We had one of the most fantastic dining experiences in Perpignon, at a restaurant that Howard insisted we try. Aric and I even managed to visit one of Howard's favorite wineries in the Rhone: Domaine du Vieux Telegraphe. The missing element was, of course, Howard. I could easily visualize him eating in his signature way: messily, lustily and greedily. Such was Howard's spirit. His love of life, and the good things to be experienced, was tremendous. It was truly an inspiration, and a note to everybody that life is too short to put off happiness. Howard's spirit, I know, will live on through the people that he touched, and hopefully in the people that we touch in return. I miss him already, and the loss is tremendous, but I think his memory should be toward the celebration of life. Howard's spirit will live on through the never ending cycle of vine to grape to bottle, and the toasts to our friends and our love of life. This, I am sure, is how Howard would want it.